Dreaming in July

Over the past few days leading up to today i.e. 01.07.2020, I convinced myself to finally learn guitar from a tutor. The past two months have been quite a learning phase for me where I got acquainted with the basics of guitar and I am sure that, those learnings will help me get a head start.

I have a demo class tomorrow and I will mostly commence from tomorrow, I am going to have eight classes over the span of this month. I think it is an understatement to say ‘I am very excited’, I may be jumping to conclusions too soon but I want to be able to ace the exams and get certified from the Trinity School of London, although only hardcore musicians who take music as their career are able to do that but well.. I don’t see the point of doing something and not being certified for it, what does an uncertified skill really mean?! I know I don’t have to perform in concerts but for me, it is like a mental check, to have acquired a skill completely.

Apart from learning how to play Guitar, I am also going to be taking up French lessons for which, again I am too damn excited. I have gotten ahead of myself and learnt the French pronunciations of the alphabets, or now as I’d like to call it, l’alphabet, months = mois and numbers up to 1-12. You get the level of excitement, don’t you? Again, to be certified in French takes years and out of six levels, the last two are the hardest. My teacher herself has only cracked the first four and well, that is what I need for my TEF exams. Although I should mention that I am not learning French only to score marks in TEF but because as a kid, I always wanted to be multi-lingual, I dropped that dream few years back thinking I was being too unrealistic but I feel, it really isn’t. Little by little I am sure I’ll be able to do it, although one thing that does worry me is my vocabulary, I don’t think the course can teach me vocabulary and fluency. I wish I had some French friends to talk to. N’importe qui? J’ai bison de vous.

Apart from these two new skills, I am planning to incorporate some Yoga, Push Ups, Pull- Ups and substitute running to brisk walking. I have finally started to get my knees back and I am going to be ultra careful with them this time. I did Push-ups and Pull-ups very erratically in June so I have thought of doing them everyday from tomorrow on.

If I am able to do these things, I think my July will be far more productive than all previous six months combined. It will be a dream to have completed all these things, everyday for a month. Although I do think that to be even intermediate at these things, I need to do all of these things for a minimum of three months before I can judge my progress I.e. July, August & Sept ..oof I don’t think Lockdown is gonna extend till Sept. Do you? 🤔

Grandma at 24?

Two days back while running I felt a funny ache in my left knee, I remember it faintly from a few times in the past decade. It is the pain I get when my left knee cap twists. I regretted running almost instantly. Yesterday being a Sunday, I thought I’d skip running since my knee isn’t very well and the last time I went to see the Orthopaedic he suggested I do VMO muscle strengthening exercise since that muscle is causing all this drama. And so I did, wearing a knee cap felt like a cute hug to my knee so I kept wearing it the entire day, I slept with the hope that I’ll wake up pain-free ready to run.

To my surprise, I have a hard time even walking today and all of this pain has made me realise that I have a weak knee and I may not be able to run, ever. I am pissed, very pissed. I am 24, this isn’t supposed to happen right now, I want to run. Running is the only thing I have been doing since I was a kid, I love challenging myself to higher speeds, longer time and a dripping wet t-shirt. The doctor has asked me to get some tests done but I am unable to do that because the situation of Coronavirus is terrible in Delhi and going to a hospital is almost like inviting COVID-19.

I have been running for almost two months now and I have a brilliant stamina and endurance, how am I supposed to just sit back? Let my stamina crash? Not run 5kms everyday? My entire day revolved around running and now I am sitting with a knee cap, looking at pictures of people running. I miss it, the feeling like my face is on fire and just being so exhausted. I miss being exhausted, exhausted to the point that I go in coma as soon as I hit the pillow. What about my June 100K Challenge now?

What if I am unable to run, ever? This is the worst, 2020 is the worst!

Hello June

Today is 31.05.2020 and I am SUPER happy, I completed running 100kms in under 25 days and I never thought I’d ever do something like this. It is probably nothing big and very achievable for a lot of people (I think I may be borderline suffering from Imposter Syndrome, do I?!)

Screen grab from my Nike Running Club App

I love everything that comes with it, when I began, I couldn’t run more than 10s at max, today I can run for a minute and a half. Earlier this month, a km felt like a lifetime. I am just really PROUD. In order to continue making the most of time at home, in quarantine, I have decided to get fitter in other aspects, I am planning to practise some Calisthenics since I hardly have any equipment at home and Yoga. Yoga is something that I have been wanting to do for sometime now and I think it is going to compliment Calisthenics, so this is my June diary. In this month, I want to do the following things:

1. Run another 100kms
2. Meditate for 30 days straight
3. Complete CPC
4. Read India After Gandhi
5. Learn Guitar, a bit more

Week 1: If I were to define my week in terms of growth, it was as big as Oprah calling me in the next five minutes, negligible, yes. The first few days went in creating a workout program and well, I am sitting on the first day of the Second week and I still don’t have one, but I have successfully ruled out a couple of things. I have ran only thrice this week, although 5kms each time but still, insufficient. I haven’t been reading or meditating which is sending me down a spiral. In a nutshell, I was unproductive as hell. On the, well not brighter, but maybe glistening side, I started doing push ups and got my pull-up bar installed and I usually collapse on the ground with a loud thud after my fourth-not-even-halfway-reaching push up. Hoping for a better second week!

Week 2: Undoubtedly this week has been better than last week, I think I saw some progress in my push-ups, I studied CPC better and I ran more but it hasn’t been upto the mark. I didn’t run on Sunday and well.. today the first day of the Third week. I have been wanting to dye my hair and after I bleached my hair, my hair just didn’t pick the pink dye. I have been really off because of that and I want to find some solace at the bottom of a Nutella jar but I stopped myself on a couple of spoons of Ice-Cream, Five Star and two packets of Gems. I spent my entire Sunday, binge watching Designated Survivor and OH MY GOD! it’s so good. I have also been feeling awful for not sticking to my routine in the pas two days and I meditated for only a day. God, it is the hardest for me to meditate. Gonna get up tomorrow morning at six and go running! Hoping the third weeks catches up, I fear I will waste June 😦

Week 3: To summarise my third week, I think it is sufficient to say that I am updating my third week on the fifth day of the fourth week. I ran for five days, this week. I did push ups, although I doubt I got any progress in, I had immense progress on CPC front and I started a great book, its called the Theory of Everything by Stephen Hawking, although I must point out, most of it bounces off my head but I do understand it a little bit, I find it to be one of those books which one needs to, or at least I need to read a couple of times before I understand it fully. Third week was pretty dank actually, my runs were fabulous, everything was on point.

Week 4: On the Saturday of third week something happened during my run, I felt the pain that I felt years ago. The pain of my knee cap being dislocated but I got confused, how can I have that pain without having my knee cap dislocated. I thought to myself that my knees must have a brain of their own to behave in such an erratic way and so I continued my run only to discover a pain I never felt before later that night. Excruciaiting pain, pain to the extent that I couldn’t even go to the darn washroom!

The next day was spent in envying everyone on internet whom I saw dancing in weddings or just tik-tok videos, I spent Sunday looking like a 24 year old and feeling like a 80 year old woman. I felt the pain my grand mother felt and I felt all those feelings she must have had when she saw us running around when she ended two people to just get from the couch. So Sunday was spent like a drunk melancholy person sans the intoxication. Obviously, my entire week was hella unproductive, I watched a few movies and although loved it, I watched the entire series of Bad Boys and dude, Will Smith & Martin are killing it! I ate like a pig but the last few days of the fourth week were spent focusing and making goals for July

June was good, not as productive as may but good in other ways. I feel happy. Yay. Flower Emoji.